I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
