It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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