I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
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