my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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