Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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