Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's blow job season.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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