If that was your dad, he is hot
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Found the puke drawer
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize