clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
