I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Sober January is a disaster.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
