But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
