I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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