So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
