But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
