I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
