she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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