If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
