No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
