This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize