the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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