I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
