your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
