So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
