Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
