I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
