Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
