ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
