Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
BRING THE BAGELS
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
