You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
