I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
