a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You made out with two different species that night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
