I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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