I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
