You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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