we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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