She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
