I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
