i don't like sucking hair
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
