I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
