At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
