I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm having to shit out rocks
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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