Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
