Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
