What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
