they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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