belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
