Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
