She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
