hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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