i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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