the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My Higher Power is John Stamos
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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