We won't sleep together?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
