I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize