his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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