I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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