so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I want to be your penis for a week.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
