I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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