M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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