Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
