Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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