i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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