Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
