Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
