Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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