I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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