remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm too high and old for this...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
