That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
