We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
