I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
