I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There r osticjed everywhere
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize