I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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